Damn My Ex 

my ex, marie, was an absolute bitch.  she thought of no one but herself, and didn’t hesitate to make others do work that she was perfectly capable of doing.

so we’re all at Lenny’s, the 24-hour diner.  like 8 or 9 of us.  marie orders the chili cheese fries.  it comes out, and the bacon is sitting right on top.  whole.  in strips.  no one thinks anything of it.  we’re talking, laughing, and smoking like normal, and marie waves down the waitress.

“my bacon isn’t crumbled.’” the poor waitress looks at us, like, “is she for real?”  we’re just like “yes, she is, and she’s not with us.  please don’t spit in our food.”

yep.  marie made her take the appetizer back, have the cooks remake it, and bring a new one.  bitch.