john and i had been engaged for a year and a half. work was slow, so i came home a couple of hours early. i walk into the living room, sit on the recliner, and see a clear VHS tape case on the end table. i figured he rented us a movie. how sweet, right? turns out, not so much.
that’s when i look up at the TV. the one i bought him for his birthday. there’s a video in, and it’s on pause. if you remember the old video cassettes, you know the pause wasn’t really that clear like it is today. squinting and tilting my head a little, i realize there’s a woman giving a guy a blow job on the screen!
i’m not against porn. i don’t really get into it, but i’m not against it. just be upfront about it, right? i only think that’s fair.
i sat there, looking at the fuzzy picture for a while before i go looking for john. boy, will he be glad to see me! i finally found him, in the basement, switching a load of laundry over. he froze when he saw me, and turned white, which is quite a feat considering his african coloring. he finally closed his open jaw, asked me if i could finish the laundry while he went to the bathroom, and bolted up the stairs past me.
it took a while, but the whole sordid details finally came out. he had quite a collection going by now. my question was where he got them all. he had rented a p.o. box behind my back and had had them delivered there.
to this day, i am confused as to how bad that video had to have been in order for him to stop watching it and go switch his laundry over. must’ve been some laundry.