Damn My Ex 

so my ex, marie, was nuts about the color purple. not the movie, the actual color. marie had the brilliant idea that she wanted to dye her hair purple. i suggested highlights or something, but she had her mind set on bleaching her hair and then dyeing it.

so we head to the beauty supply store. we find the bleach pretty easily and move on to find the dye. i pick up a tube called “violet” and show it to her. marie says she thinks she wants the “cranberry”. i tell her that cranberry isn’t purple at all. unfortunately, the tube was clear so you could see the dye. the cranberry looked purple to the eye. i tried to explain that it doesn’t necessarily mean that it was purple. just like paint dries a different color than it looks wet, i figured hair dye was the same way. i couldn’t see why they’d name the color cranberry if it was purple. violet, however, is practically the same as purple.

naturally, i’m the dumb man who doesn’t understand hair. she grabs the cranberry.

short story long, marie bleaches and then dyes her hair. when the towel came off, her hair was pink. PINK!

to make matters more interesting, we had made plans to go to a steakhouse (with a down under theme) that night. despite looking ridiculous, she decides she wants to go anyway. needless to say, we were stared at the whole evening.  months later, i see a commercial for said steakhouse that was strikingly similar to this story. i think they owe me a free steak or something.