Damn My Ex 

i was dating an army special forces guy. we had been together for about 6 months when i got pregnant. he said he was happy and we were gonna be a family, yada yada yada.

i was 5 months pregnant when i met his wife!!!! he was on temporary assignment to washington, so his wife and two kids stayed in texas. i never had a clue. she flew in to surprise him for their anniversary. i stopped by his house to visit. she answered the door….there we stood…both pregnant! she invited me in, he saw me and took off running down the street in nothing but his boxers in 25 degree weather.

she asked me, “would you like some grape juice?”

“yes, i would!”

so marie, my then wife, worked at a local high-end hotel in room service.

apparently, she spent her time at work flirting with anyone and everyone.

months after she started there, she tells me she had sex with one of the guys she worked with.

she tells me, “well he bought me a comic book, and that made me feel special.”

now, i had, for birthdays, anniversaries, christmas, and ‘just because,’ bought her THOUSANDS of dollars worth of rare comics.  this guy, tim, bought her a ‘collector’s edition’ from 7-11 that wasn’t even worth the five bucks he paid.  (just so you know, if a comic says, ‘collector’s edition’, it isn’t.)

she felt so special that she went home with him and screwed him.

atta boy, tim, you got the five dollar special.

so i’m talking to my mom on the phone one day.  she mentions that she gave my ex (marie) the money we needed for our phone bill.  now, i was a successful salesman at the time, so this was news to me.  i thanked her, and got off the phone.

i went online and checked our phone bill.  holy crap.  in three weeks, $2,800 in long distance charges to the same phone number in alabama.  looking at the time stamps, i could see that the calls were made when i left for work and ended just before my return (possibly as i put my key in the lock).

marie’s explanation: “one of my online friends (another story) said if i didn’t call him, he wouldn’t be my friend anymore!”

let’s pause here for a moment.  i was in second grade the first time i heard that threat.  “if you don’t let me have a bite of something (i don’t remember what), i won’t be your friend anymore.”  i was on bus#176 going home.  i thought it was the most absurd thing i had ever heard.  i didn’t fall for it at 7, but marie did at 26.

we resume: i accuse marie of lying and cheating.  she said i was inaccessible and impossible to talk to.  that aside, almost $3,000?  not to mention whatever hadn’t been billed for yet.  on top of that, she borrowed money from my mom? i paid the bill, cancelled long distance service on our phone, and told her she had 30 days to leave.  stupid me took it back!

fast-forward four or five years:  she went back home to daddy and left her daughter behind, although not with me (long story).  i find her on myspace, and send her a message.  basically, i told her that since i still saw her daughter from time to time, if she wanted me to give her a message or anything, i would.

she flies off the handle on how she wasn’t cheating with that guy.  she was giving him, get this, relationship advice. besides the fact that we’re now separated, divorced, and i’m remarried, WTF!?!?!?  i mean who f*cking cares now? we didn’t get to take the vacation to jamaica that i had been planning that year, because all told, it cost me $4,200, plus i had to pay mom the $300 we “needed”.  and the first thing she says when i make the offer to be an intermediary is she wasn’t cheating.  i added it up.  she had spent almost 10 days on the phone with this guy.