Damn My Ex 

so after marie and i broke up, she says, “i’m so glad we didn’t do a whole lot.”

“why?”

“well, if i want to get intimate with a guy, i have to go to the doctor first.”

“again, WHY?”

“since i have general warts and all”

one, that’s something you should’ve shared with me during our relationship.  two, yes, i, too, am glad we didn’t get too far.  third, don’t you mean genital?

UPDATE:  i ran into marie’s dad this weekend.  she got knocked up right after we broke up.  yes, he got her “general warts”, too.   nothing like community property, huh?

marie, my ex-wife, was, well, ODD.

let me list some of her beliefs.  she thought she was: a vampire, an angel, a demon, God’s direct decendent, Jesus’ sister, and most interestingly, SATAN’S SISTER.

although the sane part of me tells me that’s not possible, the part of me that dealt with her crap for over seven years makes me wonder…

marie (my then wife) had made plans with friends for weeks to have a huge party.  we had all been buying food and booze for it, and let me tell you, it was quite a bash!

day before the party, marie tells me she’s not going because she’s getting married. obviously, i question her about this.  she tells me shes getting married online to one of her role-playing friends.

she stayed home, got married, and i went to the party.  within months our marriage was over.  i guess she just couldn’t handle dealing with a three-dimensional husband, just an e-husband.